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The office of a marriage counselor can be a safe place to say the things we may not have the courage to say to our spouse when we are alone. Perhaps we think he won’t understand or that he will lose his temper if we tell him without the aid of an outsider.
There should be no subject closed to discussion between a husband and a wife. If you’ve come to the point where you are afraid to say something to your spouse when you are alone, you probably need a marriage counselor more than you think.
Some people have altogether the wrong idea about marriage counselors and fear they will take the other spouse’s side or tell us we are wrong about something. Sometimes, though, we just don’t want to talk about the sore spot that’s bugging us.
The marriage counselor isn’t going to fix that sore spot. Not by a long shot. If anyone is going to fix it, it will be you and your spouse or it won’t get fixed at all. Sometimes we may try to drag our spouse to counseling when he is doing something we don’t like when during
counseling we realize it is we who need to change something.
For example, some people cannot stand for their spouse to be irritated with them in the least and will jump through hoops to keep that from happening. There are times when you have to do what you think is best and if your spouse gets irritated with you, you have to let
them be irritated. There are times when no one is all right and no one is all wrong; we just have differing opinions.
If we each are able to express those opinions, even if one does not agree, we have improved our communication considerably.
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