How to relive stress for busy people. The Stress Relief tips that used to work, many no longer be suitable for you. You could be one of the increasing numbers who are searching for permanent strategies to help reduce stress.
People are, more and more frequently, looking for to reduce stress. They’re looking for the magic pill, the relaxation CD, or whatever they think will give them the stress-relief they’re looking for. But, sometimes you have to look within and, contrary to opinion, that needn’t be a scary place to go
Having spent many years helping individuals to acquire stress relief, I began to notice some patterns emerging. While there are certainly myriads of causes of stress, one in particular was repeated over and over again. The Gap!
Many of my clients had stress that was caused by a gap - between where they thought things were right now, and where they thought things should be.
To explain this further I’ll give you some examples.
A few years ago my girlfriend made a comment about the lifestyle we had, and the fact that it was something many people desire. It’s true! I have a very pleasant home in the UK, opposite an attractive park from which I can walk through woodlands and into the Peak District, While I love travelling all over the world, I still think that areas in the Peak District are amongst the most beautiful places on this planet.
And it gets better! Because of the work I do I have the freedom to explore this beautiful area. So let’s say one day the sun is shining (okay, that’s relatively rare in the UK right now) assuming I have no clients for the next hour or two I can walk out of my door with my wonderful dog, go through the park, and have a relaxing and enjoyable walk in nature.
Before I had the reality of my lifestyle brought firmly into my awareness, I was somewhat dissatisfied and striving to get more. In fact I had achieved most of what I wanted. So, by adjusting my thinking about how things really are, I was able to remove a large layer of stress from my life.
Now let me give you another example of the way in which stress can be caused by thinking that things should be different.
When I was running a business some years ago, I truly felt that it should be further forward, more profitable and easier to run, because I’d read many stories about other individuals who’d achieved tremendous success very quickly. I know now that, of course, these are rare individuals indeed!
A good friend of mine whom I trust and who has expertise in this area, looked at my business and told me that it was actually very good - and much further ahead than most would be. So I had been constructing a false idea of what things should be like, rather than recognizing that they were actually okay as they were.
Maybe you have a similar trait that’s causing you stress, in which case you could benefit from: a. identifying where you think things are (your life, your work, your relationships etc) b. identifying where you think things should be.
If you feel that things should be different you need to ask yourself a. what’s the reality of my situation? b. do I know for certain it should be different or is that just my assumption?
Gather information and pay attention to your actual situation, then re-assess.
Of course you may not be conscious of where, in reality, you’ve got to, so take some time to pay attention to what you actually have and ask yourself whether this is, at least partly, what you want.
Wherever we are right now in life is where our core passions and values have lead us, and while you may want to change them, that’s a different issue.
It’s many years since my realisation of the stress created by the Gap, and I now use ‘mindfulness’ with many of my clients. That involves paying attention to (being mindful of) both the here and now, as well as the thoughts that drift through their minds. This by itself can be a powerful way of putting them back in touch with themselves, their passions and purposes and seeing what they’ve already achieved in life.
by John Nolan Coach, to read more articles please visit Stress Relief UK.
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